(AoftheAP) In what’s being called “one of the most unprecedented theological events ever”, Nancy Pelosi’s guardian angel has tendered his resignation, apparently in reaction to her statement “It is sacred ground”, with regards to late-term abortions.
AoftheA News received a copy of his resignation letter, in which he cites “I can no longer handle accompanying the most unfathomable degree of stupid ever, so I’m calling it quits”, and “I’ve done my best, but when all is said and done, even I can’t believe all the idiocy she has said and done”.
A representative of Celestial Helpers for Eternal Reward Union Brotherhood, Local 94103, told AoftheA News – speaking on the condition of anonymity – that the resignation came as a total surprise. “To be honest, based on Pelosi’s recent actions and statements, I had assumed he resigned years ago.”
It’s believed that this resignation is the first of its kind. Theologian I. O. DeDerrio explained to AoftheA News that guardian angels remain with their charge until the person’s death has always been Church teaching. “Based on this letter, though, it appears that guardian angels might ‘resign’ upon what could be termed ‘spiritual death’, or maybe even irredeemable idiocy. If so, this represents one of the most unprecedented theological events ever. At least since the Ascension.”
It’s not known at this point if the guardian angel’s resignation has been accepted. Pundits are saying that if Pelosi makes even more theologically ridiculous statements in the coming days, it’s a good bet that it was.
Questions to the Celestial Helpers for Eternal Reward Union Brotherhood regarding the status of VP Joe Biden’s guardian angel remain unanswered at the time of publication.