BREAKING! Pelosi’s Guardian Angel Is “Calling It Quits”!!

(AoftheAP) In what’s being called “one of the most unprecedented theological events ever”, Nancy Pelosi’s guardian angel has tendered his resignation, apparently in reaction to her statement “It is sacred ground”, with regards to late-term abortions.

AoftheA News received a copy of his resignation letter, in which he cites “I can no longer handle accompanying the most unfathomable degree of stupid ever, so I’m calling it quits”, and “I’ve done my best, but when all is said and done, even I can’t believe all the idiocy she has said and done”.

A representative of Celestial Helpers for Eternal Reward Union Brotherhood, Local 94103, told AoftheA News – speaking on the condition of anonymity – that the resignation came as a total surprise. “To be honest, based on Pelosi’s recent actions and statements, I had assumed he resigned years ago.”

It’s believed that this resignation is the first of its kind. Theologian I. O. DeDerrio explained to AoftheA News that guardian angels remain with their charge until the person’s death has always been Church teaching. “Based on this letter, though, it appears that guardian angels might ‘resign’ upon what could be termed ‘spiritual death’, or maybe even irredeemable idiocy. If so, this represents one of the most unprecedented theological events ever. At least since the Ascension.”

It’s not known at this point if the guardian angel’s resignation has been accepted.  Pundits are saying that if Pelosi makes even more theologically ridiculous statements in the coming days, it’s a good bet that it was.

Questions to the Celestial Helpers for Eternal Reward Union Brotherhood regarding the status of VP Joe Biden’s guardian angel remain unanswered at the time of publication.

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About thelarryd

LarryD resides in Michigan with his wife and 2 sons. He's been blogging on Catholic topics since March 2008, providing orthodox commentary on heterodox hooliganism, with observations on the culture, trends, and the Church. His goal? Inject humor and fun into the New Evangelization, with the gentle reminder that everyone's taking themselves way too seriously.
This entry was posted in AoftheA News Desk, Guardian Angels, Humor, News That Could Be True, Satire. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to BREAKING! Pelosi’s Guardian Angel Is “Calling It Quits”!!

  1. Adrienne says:

    I. O. DeDerrio??

    Too funny!

    Like

  2. lawoski says:

    Very, very funny. I don’t know whether Pelosi’s idiocy is irredeemable, but thus far it does appear to be invincible.

    Like

    • al007italia says:

      Hopefully, her invincible idiocy doesn’t extend to her being invincibly ingnorant, because if her ignorance is invincible as well then she is innocent of any sin. However, I doubt she is invincibly ignorant, or her angel wouldn’t have quit. 😉

      Like

  3. Do you know where angel hair pasta comes from? Every time Nancy Pelosi says something stupid, an angel tears his hair out!

    Like

    • al007italia says:

      As an Italiano-Americano I have only 1 response: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

  4. Brad Jones says:

    Whatever her problem, Nancy Pelosi’s position is not due to invincible ignorance. She has been well warned. That aside, while I did enjoy the humor, I hope and pray her guardian angle will never stop trying to separate her from her personal tempter.

    Like

  5. Donald R. McClarey says:

    Hilarious! This needs to go up on TAC!

    Like

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  8. al007italia says:

    Have me wondering if her tempter was trained by Screwtape.

    Like

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