Catholyc Chrystmas Caryls

Every Catholic celebrates Christmas, in one form or another.  It’s kinda required.

But not all Catholics sing the same Christmas carols.  I’ve compiled a list of Catholyc Chrystmas Caryls, any of which you might hear at their office parties or Intentional Eucharistic Community soirees.

“I Saw One Of My Daddies Kissing Santa Claus” (Catholics for Equality)

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlefolks” (Women’s Ordination Conference)

“O Condoms, All Ye Faithful” (Catholics for Choice)

“It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Schism” (American Catholic Council)

“Have Yourself A Merry Laicized Christmas” (Mr Roy Bourgeios)

“Hark! The Herald Literary Constructs Sing!” & “Literary Constructs We Have Heard On High” (There are a few of them who don’t really believe in angels, you know)

“Nuttin’ For Christmas” (no, that’s not a modified title, but it fits for just about all these groups)

“(All I Want For Christmas Is) Unilateral Nuclear Disarmament” (PAX Christi)

“The Little Drummer Girl” (RCWP)

“The Twelve Days Of Social Justice” (Call-to-Action)

And the editorial staff at the National Catholic Distorter have their own version of “Our Favorite Things”:

(cue the guitar, Maria)

Women at tables who hold up the chalice
Hearing the priest say “Hello, my name’s Alice!”
When Hans Kung speaks, when Joan Chittister sings –
These are a few of our favorite things!

Columns by Winters and books by McBrien
Doctrinal teaching from devout Joe Biden
An autographed picture of Frances Kissling
These are a few of our favorite things!

Obama’s in office – “The One” we shall hail him
We’ve got the goods on the sensus fidelium
Shredded up censures from Bishop Helmsing
These are a few of our favorite things!

When the Pope barks!
When the Burke stings!
When we’re feeling sad…
We simply remember our favorite things,
And then we don’t feeeeeeeeeel
Soooooo
Bad!!!!

(Trying keep that out of your head today. Heh!)

Merry Chrystmas, everyone!

About thelarryd

LarryD resides in Michigan with his wife and 2 sons. He's been blogging on Catholic topics since March 2008, providing orthodox commentary on heterodox hooliganism, with observations on the culture, trends, and the Church. His goal? Inject humor and fun into the New Evangelization, with the gentle reminder that everyone's taking themselves way too seriously.
This entry was posted in Carols, Catholycs, Christmas, Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Catholyc Chrystmas Caryls

  1. John says:

    I heard that the LCWR sang “Reiki Around the Christmas Tree” at their “Holiday Party” this year.

    Nice list! Good way to start a Thursday.

    Like

  2. Stephanie says:

    Absolutely love when you do lists like these. I started laughing in anticipation before I even made it to the list.

    Like

  3. Tunces says:

    I thought of “Little Altar Girl” but I don’t think that was necessarily a Christmas song, and you had “Little Drummer Girl” anyway.

    Like

  4. al007italia says:

    Larry, Once again doing my best to not ROTFLOL at the library.

    I hate to tell you this, but you left out “Dashing Through the Snow (In a 500 horsepower open bus)” by the Nuns on the Bus

    Like

  5. Nuns (On The Bus) Are Coming To Town.

    Like

  6. Fr. J says:

    “Rudolf the nose of color oppressed hooved quadruped with head appendages” (from the old ICEL)

    Like

  7. Fr. J says:

    “You will see what I see” (by the NCR)

    Like

  8. gette says:

    CLEVER lyrics!!! you’re right, I won’t be able to keep it out of my head now!

    Like

  9. Mary K Jones says:

    Priceless!

    Like

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