The New Fatherhood… not an improvement on the standard.

Some time ago, I wrote about the in virgin dude in California who’s “fathered” 14 kids by setting up a free sperm bank.

But he’s got nothing on Dutchman Ed Houben, who’s fathered 82 kids – the old fashioned way!

I kid you not – the crazy disgusting story is at the Daily Mail:

A man who stayed a virgin until the age 34 has become a father of 82 in the space of just nine years and he has another ten children on the way.

Dutchman Ed Houben, 42, sleeps with around 15 childless women a month in a bid to make their quests to become mothers a reality. 

He is understood to be the most prolific professional babymaker in the world – and what he does is all legal.

He has sown his seed around the globe but usually waits for women to come to him these days at his home in Maastricht, although he still makes exceptions if his partners are entering a particularly fertile period. Provided they pay his travelling expenses and accommodation.

His ‘family’ lives in cities like Berlin – three children – and in Holland, Italy, Spain, Belgium, France and even New Zealand. The eldest is now nine while the youngest is two months old.

He began donating sperm to local clinics. Then he found there was a market for procreation the natural way and he has never looked back. in Germany is one of the websites he uses to connect with childless women desperate to conceive. 

They know Ed has a good pedigree; he gives 80 per cent of the females he has sex with a child.

All his partners must submit medical records showing they are disease and drug free while he reciprocates. 

Included in his paperwork is a semen analysis known as a ‘spermiogram’ that shows he is the real deal a sperm count of less than 20 million shows the potential donor is ‘not a good prospect.’

The prospects are increased for sperm counts of 80 to 100 million.

Houben’s count is 100 million. ‘I don’t fire blanks!’  he joked.

Sperm banks generally charge around four to five thousand pounds for inseminations.  Ed does it for free.


‘My girlfriend says that what I do only makes me more interesting,’ he told Germany’s Der Spiegel magazine. ‘She’s coming to visit again soon.’ But he hasn’rt managed to make her pregnant yet.

Aww, how sweet – he impregnates childless women for free.  How compassionate!  I bet that virgin dude in California is kicking himself right now.

This is wrong on so many levels.  Sleeping with 180 women a year, and acting all noble about it, is not what being a gentleman is all about.  In fact, if I recall correctly, Casanova was routinely sought after and threatened with death for basically doing the same thing, wasn’t he?  My how times have changed.

And what’s with the girlfriend?  She finds him “interesting”?  Any of you ladies out there find this guy interesting??  Or just plain disgusting?  Let’s vote in the combox.

And producing all those kids, with no intention of helping provide for them?  It’s bad enough when deadbeat dads don’t provide for their kids – this guy makes it a point to have the Desperate Housewife sign documents detailing very specifically that he’s not financially responsible post-orgasm.  Which leads me to think that Houben isn’t doing this for merely altruistic reasons.  Here’s a guy who’s been a virgin since 34 years of age, living with mom (the article doesn’t say so, but c’mon, would you be surprised if he hadn’t been living with his mom all those years?), probably one of those high school nerds who couldn’t get a date.  Probably a chronic masturbator who realized one day that hey, I could get paid for my habit at the local sperm bank.  Then he learns he has a super high sperm count, and the light goes off.  Dude!  Women come here and spend 1000’s to get pregnant!  I could offer my services for free, and get all the sex I want!  Score!

And voila, 15 times a month for 9 years and 82 kids later – with ten more on the way – he’s living a dream.

Except it’s not a dream – especially not for the kids.

All those kids, without a dad.  Granted, with a guy like this, generally speaking the children might be better off.  And maybe some of those moms were married to begin with, or got married afterward – the story doesn’t say.  But still – in the real world, kids deserve to have a father.  Study after study shows that children thrive and develop better with a two-parent household.  Just how well these kids will do with an entitlement-minded mom (because let’s face it – most probably feel they “deserve” to have a child) and an absent horse-stud for a father remains to be seen.  I hope, for their moms’ sakes, that they don’t all end up living in her basement for 30 some odd years.  It’s possible, you know.

This story is just the latest sad commentary on how entitlement-driven and pleasure-driven Western culture has become.  The women desperate for a baby.  The dude desperate to have as much consequence-free sex as possible – let’s be real here, this is all it is, dressed up as a knight in shining armor.  Both parties desperate for real love, trading it in for some meaningless mattress time.

If this is the future of fatherhood, then the future looks mighty bleak.

UPDATE:  For additional insight on this story, check out AoftheA friend Robert’s post at Sorry, All The Clever Names Are Taken


About thelarryd

LarryD resides in Michigan with his wife and 2 sons. He's been blogging on Catholic topics since March 2008, providing orthodox commentary on heterodox hooliganism, with observations on the culture, trends, and the Church. His goal? Inject humor and fun into the New Evangelization, with the gentle reminder that everyone's taking themselves way too seriously.
This entry was posted in Culture of Death, Parenting, sex, Unbefreakinlievable, What the....?. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to The New Fatherhood…

  1. Reminds me of a Finnish joke I heard some years ago. John needed his cow ‘serviced’. So, he calls his neighbour for the use of his bull. The bull’s owners youngest son Talvo brings the bull over. After the bull is finished, John tells Talvo, “Hey, your brother Eino got my girl pregnant.’ Talvo replies,” I’ll ask Pa how how much he wants for Eino’s service.”


  2. Terry says:

    “probably one of those high school nerds who couldn’t get a date. Probably a chronic masturbator who realized one day that hey, I could get paid for my habit at the local sperm bank.”

    Wow! You really gave this a lot of thought. LOL!


  3. Jeanne G. says:



  4. It’s not even the fatherless children that are the saddest to me. It’s that there’s now dozens of little brothers and sisters running around northern Europe, with no knowledge of who their siblings are. In a few years they’ll start dating, and that’ll be at the forefront of their mind the whole time.


  5. Robert says:

    Funny……..I blogged about Ed Houben this past Saturday.


  6. Rebecca @ Shoved to Them says:

    I’m with Patrick. You never know where your relatives might turn up. 🙂


    • I feel like this could be turned into a great ad campaign for the Priesthood. “Don’t know your Dad? Don’t want to screw your sister? Become a Priest, today!” or something along those lines.


  7. lansingmichiganteaparty says:

    I know a police officer in Pontiac MI who has commented about he hears of many children born with genetic problems in this community, and his conjecture is that it’s because many don’t know if they are brother and sister or not. This is actually very sad and scary. And mostly diabolical. Sigh. Satan is ever banal, eh?


  8. al007italia says:

    What this guy is doing is wrong on so many levels.
    Like you said Larry, this is NOT a dream. It is a nightmare. & the damage he is doing will go on for decades, especially to his children.


  9. says:

    I agree. We’re all looking for true love, but I disagree with you that our future is bleak based on these desperate people.

    My reason for disagreement: The world really doesn’t change much. Technology changes but that’s about it. There are really two types of people: Those who follow Our Lord and those that don’t. Both types can go to the other side at any time, but there are only two sides: Those searching for true love and those embracing it. The world won’t get any worse or any better. All we can do is pray for the desperate people to find Our Lord who is true love.


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