Generally speaking, we here at the AoftheA steer clear of relationship and dating advice. Mostly because the dating scene is no longer visible in the rearview mirror, so any advice proffered will probably be outdated and outmoded. And also, if you really knew the state of my relationships, then you’d quickly realize that I’m the last person you want advice from.
But that doesn’t mean we won’t jump in head first into a shallow pit where there’s the chance to score a few cheap laughs. That’s how AoftheA rolls, you know.
Last week, over at The Wisconsin Bad Boy blog (aka The Badger Catholic), contributor Virginia Zignego put up a post on “Things not to say to a Catholic woman on your first date”. Frankly, I didn’t realize that Catholic women were allowed to have a first date – I’m glad the Vatican has issued an indult to permit such things. That’s très cool!
Anyway, it was an amusing post, and it inspired me: what are tell-tale signs that your date might be a Catholyc? What things might they say that will tip you off? Think of it as a Guide To Getting The Heck Outta There With Your Faith Still Intact. Maybe it will become an e-Book, who knows? So for you single Catholic guys and girls out there – maybe you’ve signed up with one of the Catholic dating sites, or your Aunt Gertrude knows a single Catholic “who’s just right for you” – listen up. Here are ten things your date might say that will reveal they’re Catholyc:
1) “I can’t stay out too late – my IVF appointment is at 9 tomorrow morning.”
2) “I’m leaning towards Starsong Chittister as the name of my first daughter.”
3) “I’m leaning towards Starsong Chittister as the name of my first son.”
4) “My grandmother just got ordained a deacon last weekend. It was beautiful.”
5) “You know, the Church would be in much better shape if theologians like Pelosi were paid better attention.”
6) “I teach male liturgical dance studies at the local community college. What do you do?”
7) “My favorite Pope? What, we still have those?”
8) “I can’t decide whether I should subscribe to America or National Catholic Reporter. What do you think?”
9) “Get this – I went to Mass last Sunday…did you know they’ve changed the prayers?!? When did that happen?”
10) “I almost had to cancel our date. I just got bailed out of jail yesterday for trespassing at the School of the Americas.”
Bonus: “Obama? Obama rocks!”
Got any to add?