The Illustrated Progressive Catholic Alphabet, Part IV

(Part I is here; Part II is here; and whaddya know?! Part III is here!)

Are you a progressive Catholic blessed with children grandchildren young nieces and nephews who are showing interest in the Catholic faith, and you want to make sure they don’t grow up orthodox? Or do you lead Children’s Liturgies at your Catholic community, and are seeking a fresh new text with which to indoctrinate educate your young impressionable charges? Well, AoftheA Publishing has the perfect book for you! It’s the Illustrated Progressive Catholic Alphabet! Help that young person you know learn their ABC’s while discovering the creative and spirit of Vatican II-filled world of progressive Catholicism.

Here is fourth and final part of the Illustrated Progressive Catholic Alphabet:

T
Tolerance

(Source)

Tolerance is an important Christian virtue. Jesus was a tolerant person because He told people not to judge others. The Hierarchy is very intolerant of those who follow their conscience (see “C”). If they practiced tolerance, there would be peace in the Church because everyone would be allowed to do what they want without being judged.

U

Universe

(Source)

The Universe is everything that is in existence, created by God(de). All the galaxies, every star, each planet that exists. And someday we will touch the Cosmic Force that unites every living thing and live forever in Her psychic embrace.

V

Vatican II

(Source)

Vatican II was a Council in the 1960’s that ushered a New Church into being. The “Spirit of Vatican II”, as it’s commonly called, permitted women to become priests, prohibited Latin, did away with the Rosary, introduced guitars and drums during Liturgy (see “M”), said contraception was okay, rewrote the 10 Commandments, sanctioned divorce and remarriage, allowed shacking up, embraced feminism and introduced the DH rule into Major League Baseball.

Unfortunately, the Hierarchy hi-jacked Vatican II, and prohibited nearly everything, except for the DH rule (but only for the American League).

W

Worship

(Source)

Worship is the time when we do Eucharist and celebrate Church. You can tell the time of year by the types of clothes the priest wears; for instance, if the priest is in a costume, then it’s Halloween time. Worship is about hospitality, fun and making everyone feel good about themselves.

X

X-communication

(Source)

Ex-communication is the unjust penalty the Hierarchy gives to people who faithfully dissent from official teaching, or try to follow their conscience. An ex-communicated person is forbidden from receiving Eucharist, and has to find a new place to do Church. Sometimes, the ex-communication is lifted, but that mostly happens centuries after the person has died, when the Hierarchy admits it made a mistake.

Y

Yuletide

(Source)

Yuletide is the “new” way of doing Christmas. In order to be tolerant of other people’s beliefs, it’s not nice to say “Merry Christmas” anymore, because it might offend them. So, it’s best to say “Happy Yuletide!” or “Season’s Greetings!” This way, you will be thought of as being open-minded and non-threatening.

Z

Zealot


The guy who writes the above blog is a zealot.

About thelarryd

LarryD resides in Michigan with his wife and 2 sons. He's been blogging on Catholic topics since March 2008, providing orthodox commentary on heterodox hooliganism, with observations on the culture, trends, and the Church. His goal? Inject humor and fun into the New Evangelization, with the gentle reminder that everyone's taking themselves way too seriously.
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12 Responses to The Illustrated Progressive Catholic Alphabet, Part IV

  1. Michael says:

    Oooh, T for Tolerance is a good one. I mean, what higher good is there than tolerance? (except for those crazy Zealots who follow the Hierarchy)

    Like

  2. Terry Nelson says:

    I think I touched the Cosmic Force at a rock concert once – many years ago mind you.

    Excellent alphabet.

    Like

  3. Jen Brannon says:

    You certainly are a zealot, Larry D, you certainly are!

    Like

  4. Sarah - Kala says:

    LOVE it! You are one brilliant mind! Fantastic! Outstanding!

    Like

  5. I KNEW the libs were behind the DH, #$#@@* Masons!

    Like

  6. LarryD says:

    Jen – I am 100% zealot, no additives or preservatives.

    Fr Erik – Dan Brown told me that.

    Terry – Was it a Yes concert?

    Like

  7. TheSeeker says:

    Bravo, LarryD! On to publishing!! šŸ˜€

    And eww Terry…I hope you washed your hands… šŸ˜‰

    Like

  8. Anthony says:

    I know Vatican II was to blame for the DH I knew it!!!!

    Like

  9. Anonymous says:

    Very clever and amusing but I would love you to do a double page format with the true glossary entry on the other side then it would be a great gift to aid discernment for the young and not so young!

    Like

  10. Pingback: The Catholyc Coloring Book « Acts Of The Apostasy

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