Catholyc Chrystmas Caryls

Every Catholic celebrates Christmas, in one form or another.  It’s kinda required.

But not all Catholics sing the same Christmas carols.  I’ve compiled a list of Catholyc Chrystmas Caryls, any of which you might hear at their office parties or Intentional Eucharistic Community soirees.

“I Saw One Of My Daddies Kissing Santa Claus” (Catholics for Equality)

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlefolks” (Women’s Ordination Conference)

“O Condoms, All Ye Faithful” (Catholics for Choice)

“It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Schism” (American Catholic Council)

“Have Yourself A Merry Laicized Christmas” (Mr Roy Bourgeios)

“Hark! The Herald Literary Constructs Sing!” & “Literary Constructs We Have Heard On High” (There are a few of them who don’t really believe in angels, you know)

“Nuttin’ For Christmas” (no, that’s not a modified title, but it fits for just about all these groups)

“(All I Want For Christmas Is) Unilateral Nuclear Disarmament” (PAX Christi)

“The Little Drummer Girl” (RCWP)

“The Twelve Days Of Social Justice” (Call-to-Action)

And the editorial staff at the National Catholic Distorter have their own version of “Our Favorite Things”:

(cue the guitar, Maria)

Women at tables who hold up the chalice
Hearing the priest say “Hello, my name’s Alice!”
When Hans Kung speaks, when Joan Chittister sings -
These are a few of our favorite things!

Columns by Winters and books by McBrien
Doctrinal teaching from devout Joe Biden
An autographed picture of Frances Kissling
These are a few of our favorite things!

Obama’s in office – “The One” we shall hail him
We’ve got the goods on the sensus fidelium
Shredded up censures from Bishop Helmsing
These are a few of our favorite things!

When the Pope barks!
When the Burke stings!
When we’re feeling sad…
We simply remember our favorite things,
And then we don’t feeeeeeeeeel
Soooooo
Bad!!!!

(Trying keep that out of your head today. Heh!)

Merry Chrystmas, everyone!

About these ads