Yesterday was Earth Day! And Lenin’s birthday, too, but I’m sure that’s just a crazy coincidence.
So anyway, here’s part of the Gospel that was read at yesterday’s service held at the Southeast Michigan Regional Climate Disruption Safety Zone and Re-education Center. Or maybe it was at the local LCWR chapter – I forget which. We went at the invitation of Sister Patricia.
“Then Gaia will say to those at her right hand, ‘Come, O blessed of my bounteous bounty, inherit the kingdom prepared for you since like forever; for I was hungry, and you fed me non-GMO seeds; thirsty, and you used low-flow toilets to conserve water; I was naked, and you protested mountain-top strip mining and planted trees; I was sick and you purchased carbon credits; I was too hot, and you lowered your emissions.’ Then the righteous will answer, ”Gaia, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty? When did we see you naked, or sick, or too hot?’ And Gaia will answer them, ‘Whenever you did something for the polar bears, or bought an electric car, you did it for me.” (Gore 25: 34-40)
After the service, we regaled each other with ribald tales of recycling over flax seed bars and sun tea, and then checked everyone’s tires for proper inflation levels.
Although – and I’m quite ashamed to say this – on the way home, I stopped at the gas station and topped off the tank. I suppose I should go to confession now?
So how did you celebrate?
I started the South Beach diet, that I may take up less space on Mother Earth.
I don’t know ’bout you Michiganders, but that sounds like torture to this ol’ Texas boy!
I celebrated by lounging on a leather sofa and a big rawhide chair.
I went ahead and grilled barbecue pork ribs on the grill, thereby supplying the trees, shrubs and grass of my yard with much-needed carbon dioxide.
LOL! I can’t stop laughing.
Yesterday was Earth Day??????????????
PS Didn’t you know Al Gore wrote the entire Bible on the 7th day after he rested from inventing the internet?
Isn’t that common knowledge?
What makes you think that Environmentalists have Confession?
I went four wheeling in a 6-cylinder Toyota 4Runner that uses lots of gas. When I was out in the woods, I drove over lots of rocks and hit a few trees. You know those bushes here in Texas just don’t get out of the way so I drove over them too. As I drove through some streams, I more than likely disturbed the habitat of some endangered fish or turtle. Might have even killed a few! Then I jumped out of gas guzzling SUV, took my shotgun and shot a few birds and other critters because we have dominion over all those animals and I shot the hell out of them. When I came home, I filled up my tank as far as it could go. It was a blessed Earth Day here in Texas! Thank you Al Gore!