Your Mt. Rushmore Of…

rushmore2bcopy

It’s been some time since I’ve run the “Your Mt Rushmore Of…” meme – where you list your four top choices of a given topic. The first time I did this, “The Catholic Version”, I asked if you were designing a new Catholic Mt Rushmore, which four saints would you choose? I think people had fun with that.

So today, in the spirit of Halloween (or All Hallow’s Eve, if you prefer), what’s your Mt Rushmore of…

…Halloween candy? Your four go-to fave types of candy that, if they were healthy and not so dentally detrimental, you’d eat them everyday. Or, if you’re like me, you come pretty darn close.

Here are mine, in no particular order:

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Banana Laffy-Taffy
Red Vine licorice
Pretzel M&M’s

So what are yours? What’s your Mt Rushmore of candy?

And Happy Halloween!!

Friday Quote Of The Day

“It is the real presence of Christ in the poor man, when this is really believed and the poor man is known as a person, that can transform the encounter with him from a purely “social problem” into something essentially and authentically Christian.

“The poor must not be someone who is tolerated and put up with, but someone who is waited for and expected.”

33.Madeleine Delbrel

- Servant of God Madeleine Delbrel

Old Testament Emails

Did you know that the Israelites’ ISP was Yahwehoo? I didn’t know either!

From: Elijah, Prophet of Yahweh
To: 450 Prophets of Baal
Subj: Meeting notice

Just a reminder – tomorrow morning at dawn on Mount Carmel. Bring 2 bulls. Thanks.

 

From: David
To: Saul
Subj: About last night in the cave…

Sorry about cutting the skirt of your robe. Send me the bill for repairs.

From: Saul
To: David
Subj: RE: About last night in the cave…

No worries, didn’t really like it anyway. Listen, I’m ready to let bygones be bygones. You’re obviously a better man than I, seeing as you could have cut my throat as easily as my robe, but you didn’t. Props, man. Next time you’re in Jerusalem, stop by the palace and we’ll kill a fatted calf or something. Sound good?

From: David
To: Saul
Subj: RE:RE: About last night in the cave…

Count me in.

 

From: Moses
To: Israelites
cc: Aaron
Subj: Flight from Egypt

Be ready to hit the road early tomorrow morning. Don’t forget to mark your lintels and door posts. If you still need an unblemished lamb, hit ‘Reply All’ and Aaron will hook you up.

 

From: Eve
To: Adam
Subj.: The boys

Will you talk to Cain? He’s been awfully moody lately. Thanks, hon.

 

From: Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon
To: Satraps  Prefects  Governors  Counselors  Treasurers  Justices  Magistrates  Officials
Subj.: Gold Statue Dedication Ceremony

Ceremony starts at 9 AM next Tuesday. Shouldn’t take more than forty-five minutes, as long as the horns, pipes, lyres, trigons, harps, bagpipes, and every kind of music do their jobs.

Everyone is to attend! No exceptions! Unless you’re really sick – but you must have a signed doctor’s excuse. Otherwise, it’s into the fiery furnace.

From: Shadrach
To: Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon
CC: Meshach  Abednego
Subj.: RE: Gold Statue Dedication Ceremony

I know you said ‘no exceptions’, but we’re sitting this one out. Just can’t do it.

From: Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon
To: Shadrach
CC: Meshach  Abednego
Subj.: RE:RE: Gold Statue Dedication Ceremony

What, you guys planning to be sick?? What part of “No exceptions” do you not understand?

Eight People In Michigan Being Monitored For Ebola

Rest assured, I”m not one of them. At least, I don’t think so…

Per The Detroit News:

Eight people in Michigan are being monitored to see if they develop the Ebola virus, but none has shown symptoms of the deadly disease, the Michigan Department of Community Health confirmed Tuesday.

The individuals are located in several Michigan counties, which Department of Community Health spokeswoman Angela Minicuci would not identify.

“There are eight individuals in the state of Michigan who we’re monitoring per the CDC guidance,” Minicuci said, referring to guidelines created by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “We’re not releasing counties. We’re respecting the privacy of individuals.”

The state health department was very circumspect Tuesday, declining to give any details about who the people are or how they may have been exposed.

Read the rest here.

How does releasing the county names infringe on the privacy rights of the individuals being monitored? One would think the rights of the other 9.8+ million residents of the state should be considered. Regardless, I’m taking precautions.

weird-Vintage-photos-experimental-transmitter-and-recieveer-for-armed-foreces-helmet-vintage-photo-army-804x1024(Source)

Stuck On You

Or perhaps stuck in you, for one particular couple.

Chinese-Finger-Traps-300B

Italian Couple Get Stuck in Frolic at Sea

An Italian couple wound up in hospital after getting stuck together while romping in the sea in the Marche region.

Il Mattino reported that the amorous couple were making the most of a warm day, and a practically deserted beach, when they decided to take a dip in the ocean at Porto San Giorgio to express their love.

But their lovemaking came to an embarrassing end when the man was unable to extricate himself from the woman due to suction, the newspaper said.

They remained in the water until they caught the attention of a woman walking along the beach, who gave them a towel after they struggled back to the shore.

A doctor was called and they were taken to a hospital emergency room. There the woman was given an injection usually used to dilate the uterus of pregnant women, in order to untangle the couple.

Thus proving that love can exist in a vacuum.

Apparently the Cialis people know a thing or two about this phenomenon, since their ads feature couples in separate bathtubs.

Thanks to pal Rebecca for sending me the story, who knows my sense of humor only too well.

Biblical Pick Up Lines

So I saw this on Twitter today, and it made me laugh.

book of numbers

Per usual when I see funny things I didn’t say, I thought two things: one, I wish I had thought of that first!; and two, blog post idea! Not that I need pick-up lines, of course – happily married am I. But hey, there are a lot of Catholic singles out there – a handful of whom read this blog – and they could use ‘em, letting those prospective dates that you’re suave, smooth, and  you read your Scriptures.

“Standing next to you, I get an idea of how Shadrach felt in that furnace.”

“Is your name Canaan, cos I’m sure I’ve just found my Promised Land.”

“Wow, you’re so pretty! You certainly avoided the plague of boils!”

“Someone must have just sacrificed a pair of doves, because you are the answer to my prayers.”

“My mom calls me an Amorite, and my dad calls me a Canaanite, but you can call me Yourstonite.”

“I give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, to God what belongs to God. All the rest, belongs to you.”

“Boy, your hair is so beautiful and long! Longer than my phylacteries!”

“You’re the one dream I don’t need Joseph to interpret for me.”

Feel free to add more in the combox.

The Craziest Things You Will See Today

I’ve seen some pretty weird things in my lifetime, and these customized coffins rank right up there.

chocolate-box

Death is like a box of chocolates – you never…oh wait.

Talk about being deep into the Word...

There’s being deep into Scripture, and then there’s being six feet deep into Scripture…

This would be the one that *didn't* get away.

This would be the one that *didn’t* get away.

The iCasket? Is there an app for that?

The iCasket? Is there an app for that?

The only type of music you can play on that guitar would be Death Metal.

The only type of music you can play on that guitar would be Death Metal.

Perfect for rapists and pillagers!!

Perfect for looters and pillagers!!

(Source for all images)

If cremation is more your thing…

Putting the "Boo!" in "Boo-hoo I miss you".

Ghost urns: Putting the “Boo!” in “Boo-hoo I miss you”.

Star Trek urn: for the Red Shirt person in your life.

Star Trek urn: for the Red Shirt person in your life.

The Handbag urn: for the deceased who's going places.

The Handbag urn: for the deceased who’s going places.

Now this next one – I can see Wisconsin Bad Boy or Nod giving it a second thought.

Beer bottle urn: finest blend of hops, malt, and human ash.

Beer bottle urn: finest blend of hops, malt, and human ash.

This last one is…I have no words.

Yeah, this isn't creepy. At.All.

Yeah, this isn’t creepy. At.All.

(Source for all images)

From the site:

As you can see, this creepy cremation urn is shaped like a severed head. What a unique way to create a personalized urn! It does not require any complicated procedure on your part like, going for a mould or laser scan of your head. The company just requires a photo of the deceased and makes use of 3D imaging techniques.

I’ll pass, thanks. A sculpture or bust is one thing (and even then, I’m like – no thanks), but to have one specifically made to hold the cremated remains of a loved one? I suppose if you don’t want friends to ever visit you again, then yeah, go for it.

Time For A Catholic Drinking Game!

One of the great things about being Catholic is not being a Baptist, because one of the terrible things about being a Baptist is that you can’t drink (at least in front of fellow Baptists). And one of the great things about drinking is that you can play drinking games. Thus, being Catholic means you can play Catholic drinking games.

Now, I could take the easy way out and create a Catholic drinking game based on the Extraordinary Synod of the Family. But given the tone of some of the posts and tweets I’ve seen the past few days, I’m thinking some bloggers may have been drinking heavily since Monday.

Instead, I’ll pick a different Catholic topic, one that’s also all the rage right now. Which would be…well, lemme think…ummm…hmm. Hold on, I’ll come up with one in a sec…

Guess what. Turns out the Synod is the only raging topic right now.

So here’s how to play. First, make sure you’re not behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, or won’t be anytime soon. Second, if you have children, make sure they’re in a safe place, such as a locked closet or at a relative’s house. This might get ugly real fast. Third, go to any wildly popular blog that has published extensively on the Relatio or anything pertaining to the Synod. It can be any blog of your choice: liberal, conservative…makes no difference. The less normal the better. And make sure it’s really really really popular (that excludes my blog, because I’m not in the “Triple-really” popular category).

Fourth – and this is where the game starts – go to the combox of any Relatio or Synod related post at that blog, and start with the first comment and read straight through. Game ends when The Voice of Reason appears, such as a “We should pray and wait” comment, or “Let’s not over-react”, or something along those lines.

Ready? Let the game begin!

  • For every “Yay! The Church is changing her doctrine!” comment, take a shot (Your choice – follow your conscience).
  • For every “Oh no! The Church is changing her doctrine!” comment, take 2 shots. Because they should know better.
  • For every “Oh no! We’re becoming Episcopalian!!”, take 3 shots. Because they really should know better.
  • For every reference to Cdl Kasper, one gulp of a German beer.
  • For every reference to Cdl Kasper dissing the African bishops, one gulp of a German beer followed by a shot of Amarula.
  • For every mention of Pope Francis (pro or con), one Papal Maple.
  • For every “festering evil” reference, one el Diablo.
  • For every “dark and false Church” reference, a shot of Black Vodka.
  • For every “the Church will approve so-called gay marriage!” reference (pro or con), one Sex on the Beach or Between the Sheets.
  • A Mind Eraser every time the word “heresy” is mentioned.
  • For every embedded link, a Jägerbomb.
  • A sip of sacramental wine for every complaint that the “law of gradualism” is never applied to traditionalists.
  • Two glasses of Sangria for every complaint that the “law of gradualism” is never applied to progressives.

Any additional rules?

Feel free to substitute any drinks of your choice. But remember: drink responsibly.

Disclaimer: If you play, and bad things happen, don’t send me your liver-transplant bill, or the cost of steam-cleaning your carpeting, IYKWIMAITYD.